[TR] Commission plate

[John Macartney <johnbmacartney@gmx.com>]

Iâ??d say thatâ??s definitely â??a Nobby plateâ??. 
Picture the scene. 
To the background noise of howling compressed air tools, frantic hammering, 
oaths, a blaring public address system that no one can understand because the 
announcer in the telephone exchange always sounds as though sheâ??s talking 
with a clothes peg on her nose - some elderly men are sitting at their 
workstations, lugubriously stamping blank commission plates. One of them is 
peering at his block of wood holding his tool steel letter punches.
â??Wots yer looking for, Nobby?â??
â??Canâ??t find me S and C punches. One oâ?? yow thievinâ?? bastard â??as took 
it anâ?? didnâ??t even bleed inâ?? ask me beforeâ??and.â??
Brief silence until the PA system is briefly silent.
â??Any of yers got Nobbyâ??s S an C punches? Cmon, someoneâ??s got it ainâ??t 
yer?â??
Peerings take place as operatives study their punch racks. Nobby glares at all 
of them through his fish eye glasses. Heads shake in denial
â??Cmon, yow lot. Yow knows all me punches got a painted red band on â??em so 
oi knows â??os arse ter kick when oi cums back from â??avin a Jimmy! Ooze got 
â??em?â??
Another pause.
â??Nob, yer can borra mine if I stands over yer ter make sure yer donâ??t pinch 
em and paint em red laterâ??.
â??Ta, mateâ??.
â??Ere, Nob, afore yer â??it it, check the yeller side is facin yer. Ven 
youâ??ll know yerve got it the right way round so some yank can read it.â??
Nobby checks the yellow side is facing him as he hits the punch with his 
well-worn hammer. Handing the punches back to his colleague, he studies his 
handiwork.
â??Yow niver said nuffink about that S and C bein small. So small, oi can ardly 
read them buggers. ***k me gently, thatâ??ll niver git past Inspection on Final 
Finish!â??
â??Oo ever said anyfink about bein legible? Numbers on the plate ainâ??t it and 
the plateâ??ll soon be riveted on? Too bloody late to moan about anyfink we do 
ere bein readable. No buggers ever look at em anyways, so donâ??t you lose lose 
no sleep about it Nobby my old son! Just let someone else moan about it later 
on and in anuvver place.â??

"
.............Fifty or more years later, someone did actually read that plate 
and â??worriedâ?? about it.

Jonmac



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